HOT APPLE RAIN
by Patricia Kathleen McCarthy
Illustrated by X-GIRL
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The true nature of a woman is indefinable. Look into the soul of all great works of art and their instinctual feelings are the rendering of the ideal of feminine nature . . . goddess, mother Earth nurturing, virginal, object of lust. It does not matter to me if an artist is unaware of the subliminal intent of their painting or even if they care about defining femininity. I believe this to be the case with visual mediums, not only painting but also music, sculpture and even our 20th Century contribution of film. Who knows why I elected to deconstruct my carefully constructed self-image. Last Saturday, the inconspicuous sun disappeared behind the condensed water vapor of afternoon clouds and my true nature revealed itself.
It wasn't a good day to bicycle. A five-minute walk to my favorite repertoire theatre found me seated alone in the back row. It had not escaped my notice. Wide-legged shorts are an efficient facilitator over cut-off jeans resting above the pelvic bone. In the sullen room of darkness reflected, I noticed only one man seated to my right, across the aisle, several rows over. There was no one in front of me. My heart quickened. I rested my left foot on the chair in front, above my hip, and put down my popcorn on the floor. One last glance. No usher lurking behind (they're so annoyingly attentive). My left hand wound around my leg, allowing my middle finger to slip inside. The perfect stillness of body belied my frenzied finger. I turned my head to the right. The man was unaware. The movie had only just begun and what had I become? I dared not visibly move as the climax ricocheted throughout my body.
I am a dirty girl. I have extroverted my isolated nature. Blame it on the clouds for it was they who settled above my day instead of the sun. Now I belong to the rejects of sullied behavior. Oh God, it was fantastic. I bounced out of my chair and ran back home. I looked into the heart of my favorite reproduction print and smiled. I am female by nature and male in stature. And if truth be told, I would have made an excellent model for Monsieur Picasso.